Monday, April 15, 2013

More than a brother less than a lover.

Muhamad Abdul Qayyum bin Mohd Sazali

I never had a dream come true
'til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow can never be
Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back,oh wondering
How it should been, now oh might've been
All this I know
But,still I can't find ways to let you go

Allah always has His own way of connecting people
Our relationship did not start good
He is a Kesatria Negara commander
While me, during the early weeks of semester one, a commander-hater
I have my own reasons for that, but I don't think I would want to clarify it here
Back to the story of how we meet and get to know each other

So at first, the commander for my course ; chemical engineering students semester 1 was Commander Syafiq Ikmal. Basically, a tanned-skin tall guy, charming, quite good looking and funny. Well of course, with such description you could guess that the girls in my marching group was adoring him. No not me, I told you before, I am not into commanders, I hate them, I hate marching. As the first semester students, many don't talk much during co-curriculum session. We were still in fear of the 'veto-power' of seniors in college. You know newbies, afraid of almost everything, we were the juniors, everything looks scary to us. But as for me? Well... I kinda put aside all the fear and put in all the anger. Everytime our commander said something, I would reply, loudly, sometimes harshly. Seriously... and I know, from the look of commander Syafiq Ikmal's face, he thinks that something's wrong with me. Then, after around 3 weeks of marching lessons with him, Qayyum took over. And I was like, ohh come on! I was already getting ok with commander Syafiq, now a new one...duhh!! So Qayyum is a very happy go lucky guy, he was never strict to us during marching lessons, he laughed most of the times, but still, I was very cold to him. 

One evening, I was having my first day of menstruation. You know how girls act during their menstruation, all moody and gloomy and unpredictable. My mood became worst as I ate a very sweet popia which is unacceptable to my taste buds that I did not eat the whole day. So that evening, I was pale, sick and hungry. We learned about 'Paras' that evening. You know, the transformation of  a marching group into V shapes or an increment or a decrement shape. And so Qayyum asked us to make a V shape. And as I am short, yes I am just 153cm, I was in the middle front row, in meaning I am the third last shortest person in the marching group. Qayyum was making fun of my moody face and the fact that I am short. Of course I felt like blowing up at that time. I put on the 'Miss Angry' face and look right in his eyes telling him in silence... "I HATE YOU". Hahaha memories... 

That night, I was so pissed off by Qayyum that I searched for these commanders' Facebook profiles and add them so that they can read my harsh status updates about how I hate Kesatria Negara so much. Haha... what a grudge! And yup, I found Qayyum's Facebook too! "Yeah! Read my status! I want you to know that I hate you!", said evil me at that time. I know, I was very cruel :( But everything changed when he gives me the guilts, he responded differently than I expected, he was very nice. 

3 days later, it was his birthday, I bought a small ma'thurat for him to burn away the guilts. And yes, on that day, July 5, we exchanged our numbers and became more close. 

And now, inseparable maybe? Haha... I am moving to a new campus next semester means I am going to be apart from him. You have no idea how I love him, how I need someone like him. Who's gonna fulfill all my childish wishes after this? Who's gonna pamper me like he does? Who's gonna treat me as he treated me? Bombarded with questions, but it's fate that separates us. It's not that far anyway between Dungun Campus & Bukit Besi Campus, but still, things would not be the same without him. 

i miss you
i need you
i love you

thanks, for always being there for me when i need you
thanks, for becoming such a nice brother to me
thanks, for the best birthday celebration a mate has ever gave to me
thanks, for always forgiving my huge ego and emo moods
thanks, for accepting me for who i am
thanks for everything! 

" Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean, I'll miss you, until we meet again ! "

No comments: