Monday, February 17, 2014

The Only Exception

Yeah, I know, it's a Paramore song
And it's my current favourite
Why? Because of the lyrics...

You know, sometimes girls get these emotion swings where they overthink of problems that isn't there in the first place
And unfortunately, as I claimed myself to be different from other girls
I, too have the same problem
So, lately it has been about me being single
Duh, I know, it's so silly to feel sad about being lonely
But this is my first time,
Being single for a really long duration,
It has been 1 year 1 month & 13 days already
And I love my single life, I'm not lying, I love this freedom
But I miss my unsingle life,

I miss those lovey dovey moments
I miss texting sweet messages, 
I miss someone calling me at nights,
I miss having someone to care about me all the time,
I miss the 'owning' & 'owned' feeling
I do, I do do do do!
Especially when I see sweet couples...
It kills me inside, seriously
I am JEALOUS! Urgh...

Somehow, as I have experienced too many heartbreaks as I lived
I am starting to think that
Maybe, just maybe, I should quit hoping for my 'dream' guy already
As in, I should quit having feelings or at least pretend like I don't have any?
Maybe, just maybe, I should quit having crushes & expectations
Because it hurts, it hurts and the pain doesn't go away
It stays in the heart, like a scar that still bleeds, ouch!

One thing I learned from my heartbreaks is that almost ALL expectations lead to disappointments
And this disappointment is traumatic, it'll haunt by time
It does not expire with time, with whatever that comes, it stays in the mind
Do you know how scary life is when there's too many trauma to handle?
That is what I am feeling right now... TRAUMA 

I have loved so sincere, but the guy cheated for 2 years behind my back
I have loved too much, but we broke up because the guy wanted his ex back
I have hoped too much, but we stop contacting each other suddenly
I have cared a lot, but the guy never paid attention to me
And still so many more heartbreaks event in my life...

" I fell in love once before & I won't be falling for that anymore..."
"If this is what love feels life, I'm done with it..."

Up to an extent, I have been thinking, and questioning...
Is there really any good guys for out there?
Is there really someone who won't break my heart like the others?
Seeing people getting divorce all over the world adds insult to injury
It worsens the matter to a whole new level

This feeling is overwhelming and sometimes it gives me stress, like a lot !
And I hate the fact that I actually thinking about this at nights
Especially those nights when I feel so lonely, super duper lonely

Paramore - The Only Exception

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin'
You are the only exception! 
You are the only exception! 
You are the only exception! 
You are the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk, well

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream
Ooh Ooh... 

You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
You are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

Everytime I hear this song, 
I'd be like, Ohhh I feel you ! I feel you ! 
I think I'll just wait for 'The Person' to come
That one right person that comes at the right time and is just right for me
I believe that one day, I'm gonna meet him anyway
My future Zauj (husband) insyaAllah :')

Waiting... :')


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